WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
