absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
