Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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