I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
