Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
