sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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