okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
