people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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