I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
