Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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