You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
