i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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