JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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