He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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