woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize