It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
