Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Randomize