Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
