No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So many bounce houses so little time
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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