I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize