the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
