I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
