Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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