so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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