now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
