that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize