I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
