id be glad to
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
