Pregnant stripper...not hot.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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