He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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