Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
