sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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