ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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