We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
