sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
