I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
