I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
