how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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