white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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