Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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