That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
