Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
