Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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