So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
