what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat