when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.