Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell