Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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