why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
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Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.