Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
