did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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