You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
where am i from again
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
