And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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