Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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