At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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