I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
