when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
