and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My balls are so social today.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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