Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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