So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize