This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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