at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize