Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
