My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
