Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
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According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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