i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
