i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
