..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
